Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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oh hey.

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops