I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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That's illegal What? Your mom

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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