What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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