What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

i have cancer

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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