Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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"It's a blimp, it's a hot air balloon!" "No wait, it's your mom."

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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a dyslexic boy prays to dog.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops