if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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Knock knock come in.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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