A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

What has two legs and two arms? A Human

Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

Hello.

Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

What's hotter than a beautiful girl in a bikini? Among many things, the Sun, the Earth's core, the inside of a volcano...

lybia

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

What does a nun and a hat have in common? Size

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

A chicken walked into the bar...

I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

i named my son Frodo because he was little

Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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