Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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24

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What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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