Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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Mullets

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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Catholicism.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

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Q: What's funnier than Women's Rights? A: Nothing.

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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