Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Obama getting elected in 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

dont you love porch monkeys? no.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mullets

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a bunch of mexicans jumping out of a truck a family with not alot of money to afford a car so they are forced to ride a truck that can barely fit them all

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops