Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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Oh s***

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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