What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do ghosts get whaen they watch porn ? a boner

thumb_up thumb_down -6

AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops