knock, knock. come in.

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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The guy above me has a very nice joke

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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Justin Bieber.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops