how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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knock knock who's there no one

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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There is a black guy, British guy, and a Spanish guy in a room. Wait that'll never happen, black people hate Spanish people.

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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Xbox One

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops