A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

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What do you call a mexican riding a bike? A cyclist.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Knock knock It's open

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Rock, paper, scissors, ebola

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what did the chicken say to the farmer? nothing, chickens dont talk.

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what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

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what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

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mooooh im a cow

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. He never got an ice cream he is alergic.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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What is it called when a male and a male are together. A relationship

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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Poverty.

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Have you ever heard of Yoda? From 'Attack of the Clones'?

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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