Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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Why was sally crying? she was sad

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Dinosaur!

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What's the differrence between a park bench and a black person... A park bench can support a family

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

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What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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What did my mom say when she walked in my room? You smell like body oder.

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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What does a cat sound like when it's being raped by a human? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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what did batman day to robin? get in the car robin.

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Whats the difference between a fire hydrant and the color green? They're both green. Except the fire hydrant.

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What did the 16 year old boy say to the obese girl who failed at typing? "sucks for you bitch-face."

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Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

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So these two guys are in this barn f!@#$%^ this owl! no terms of service were available but i posted anyway cuz i just didnt want the best anti to be missed!

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What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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A jew walks into an Oven....

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Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

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why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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