How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, the holocaust was a tragic event in human history.

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

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A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

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What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

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why did my girlfriend get pregnet? i didn's use a condom, and my semen entered her long muscular tube, also known as a vagina.

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why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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What begins with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Your neighbor

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A women leaves the kitchen.

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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Why are these jokes so funny? I don't know?

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops