Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"stupid creationist" Perfect example of redundance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

thumb_up thumb_down -13

you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What didnt rebecca black do today ride the bus

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse then getting caught in the rain with no umbrella? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops