What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Tell you something funny.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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