Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Paige

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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