A man walks into a bar. Dyslexia is not funny. -Tag

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-_- i like trains ... -_-

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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girls basketball

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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