What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

wat?

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

Where does a homeless person live? No where

What's brown and sticky? A penis.

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

Poop

I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...