A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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what is an antijoke? a type of comedy in which the joke ends in an antivlimax that it is funny in its own right GDS*

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I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy!!!!

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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Q. what did the white man say to the black man? A. hello

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Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

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Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

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A woman was talking to Ghandi. "Oh wait" He says "I can't, My kids are home"

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Why did i write this? I was bored

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Two gay men walk down the street holding hands, and are applauded for expressing their love for each other.

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What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

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A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

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obama

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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