why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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YOLO.

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

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You

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A bold man said "well, here goes nothing!" Moments later, thats what happened

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God bless America, and no where else.

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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Reed is poopin

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How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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