there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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Womens rights

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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And the winner of Miss America 2050 is... Britney Spears!

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Chrissy is funny.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the chin. Nearby people were disgusted at this act and immediately reported him for animal abuse. Today he is in prison

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

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Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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