How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

thumb_up thumb_down +135

Why did The chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock It's open

thumb_up thumb_down +76

a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti jokes SUCK!

thumb_up thumb_down -122

What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

the battle of waterloo

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Starter clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What do you call two black guys on a bike? Unsafe operation of a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

thumb_up thumb_down -113

A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A six foot chicken, a horse, and a muskrat walk into a bar. They are then detained by animal control and the bar undergoes a thorough cleaning.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Jew get for Christmas? A ride to a Concentrtation Camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse then ten dead babies being nailed to a tree? Being the one to take them down.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.....

thumb_up thumb_down -70

A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops