A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A black man boards a plane. He enjoys the rest of the flight in first class.

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how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

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why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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alston wang

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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