The NHL playoffs

What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

What is it called when a male and a male are together. A relationship

A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

Whats stupid and has words? THIS JOKE!

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

what do you do if you catch syphilis from a Swedish prostitute? seek the help of a medical professional.

So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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