What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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gay rights

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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