Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

Guess what? What? Nothing.

Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, Knock. Who's there? ........Chicken...?

What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

Obama is a good president.

Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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