C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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