Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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The horse's name was Friday

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What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

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A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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Click click ,scroll scroll. Bro you wasted your time. -Troll Lord

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What was the blind man doing at the movies? He was on a date.

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knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What do u call 4 black men in a car? A: carpooling

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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What's winnie the pooh's middle name? the

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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