Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

Guess what? What? Nothing.

What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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