What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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Obama is a good president.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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