How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an axe

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, it's really nice.

Today I decided to burn alot of calories. So I found a fat kid and lit him on fire.

If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic.

8=>

Three blind mice walk into a pub. They are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humor from it would be exploitative.

Do you know what's the difference between a bicycle and a black man? A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

A seal walks into a club.

Try this on someone... go up and say "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start" there response "Ok, knock knock" you say "Who's there?" They are usually dumbfounded and a hilarious awkward silence ensues

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the christian says "if you don't believe in god you will go to hell." the atheist replies "if there was a benevolent supreme being, logic dictates that there would be proof of his existence other than a 2,000 year old book." they agree to set aside their petty differences and get on with their lives.

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender goes to get him a drink, but then realizes how ridiculous this is and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over to tell his wife about it, but she ignores him. He begins to cry silently, realizing his marriage is in shambles.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? Just about anything because child mortality is not funny.

Yo mama is so stupid, she believes in god. God isn't real.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

what did the plane say to the trade center on 9/11 boom

Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and have a wonderful time at what many people believe to be the most magical place on Earth.

What do u call an anorexic with a yeast infection? -a quarter pounder with cheese. (not really anti-joke, im a girl and thought this was funny lol)

A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.

Why didn't Jesus like pizza? Because he didn't exist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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