Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? Because he was blind.

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Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

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How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

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Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

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Why was the woman crying I kick her in the ass really really really hard... With steal toe boots... That had a spike on them... That was biped in poison... And man did she scream.

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Roses re red Violets are black You'd look better with a knife in your back

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why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

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Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

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Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

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Why are anti jokes funny....cause morons come up with them...

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Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

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Knock knock. Who's? There Where? Right here.

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So there are 2 ninjas in a dojo, The first ninja turns to the second ninja, and says something in Japanese

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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what did the goat say to the shepherd? goats can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

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I know you are but what am I? A queer.

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Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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