Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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