What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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