Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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josh sucks polish adams dick

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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