So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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