Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Obama = ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +1

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock,knock you suck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man? Rob

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops