His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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lets bomb africa

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i committed murder

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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