Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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