Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops