A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

thumb_up thumb_down +1

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Chris Bosh's neck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops