KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why Did the throw up He was sick

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops