How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I agree to the terms and conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops