So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

make me a sandwich! what kind?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops