Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops