Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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