Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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Your face

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops