roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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Why are reading anti-jokes so funny? Im not sure, i just read them and laughter ensues.

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website?

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

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A bar walks into a man

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

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One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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